college reflection

Being at Messiah makes me want to start college over. This is impractical, I know. I haven't even finished up the first time yet. But I want the excitement of meeting all kinds of new people who all want to make new friends. The second time around, I'd take more advantage of everything. Like making friends with the people on my hallway. I'd be less of a recluse. Also, I think I'd go to a small Christian college. I love Penn State, but I think I missed some element of "making your own fun" that comes from small-town-campus isolation and enforced chastity. Like dorm room hammocks, frying squirrels on Foremans, and the contrived socialization of one dinning hall. And roasting goat on a spit. I hardly ever ate with friends (more than one friend at a time) in the dinning halls. I haven't eaten there at all in the past two and a half years. Of course, I have my own apartment. Actually I'm up to five apartments: three in State College, one in Tucson, one in Rome. That has its perks. Like... privacy. (that doesn't apply to the one in Italy). Save money on food. (Doesn't apply in Italy either). I should have had more pot-lucks. I can't wait to move to Korea and make some friends to invite over for dinner. Or just take some of husband's friends. Thinking about it, from my four years in college I have very few good friends. (I do have a few, so if you are reading this and think you are my good friend, you probably are). I did find a husband, so that's a plus. I guess I really just had a non-traditional college experience. Instead of meeting friends in the dinning hall I'd go over to this weird 23-year-old's apartment and make chili. Instead of watching movies in dorm rooms I snuck on the roof of Arby's late at night. Instead of playing video games or acoustic guitar I'd crochet and paint and take road trips to a hippie eco resort.

So in conclusion: Its best to foster the adventurous, social parts of me that lead to fun experiences and no regrets. And to suppress the angsty reclusive part that has good ideals, but really isn't any fun.